Since my bizarro rant in my last blog, I sure have been busy. So busy (or lazy depending on how you look at it) that I haven't wrote a new blog in awhile. During this "break" thing have happened that I wish to forward on to you. Hopefully I can remember everything. So without further adieu...
MOVING BACK TO THE SAULT
So the first question I'm normally asked is "So how do you like living back in the sault?" Well the answer is, Engh! (that's the sound of a grunted shoulder shrug that is as neutral an answer you can get.) The soo is nice cuz it cheaper to live here, and my friends and family are here, not to mention the g/f is here too. But the Toronto thing had it's plus's too, for instance, if you wanted to do basically anything, you could just get up and do it. Here in the sault, you'd have to drive atleast 3 hours to possibly hit a city that may or may not have said activity available to you. I'm currently living in a the basement of a friends house with all utilities but phone included. Which is a pretty sweet deal. I'm back at my old position at The Block. I sure fell right back into the groove but now I have some financial issues. Here's is my prediciment. Blockbuster Head Office decided to cut 16 available hours for scheduling. Thus, leaving my boss Annalee stuggling to give everyone a necessary amount of hours. Thus, giving me only about 18-24 hours a week. Which is about half of what I was use to. Oh and on a side note, one of the other reason for coming home is to save money for potential tuition for Sept 07. So since this is a "cut" in pay, I now have to consider a second job. Which brings us to my next topic.
THE FUTURE SHOP ONLINE APPLICATION
Oh my god, that thing is hilarious. If you have about 20 minutes of your life to waste and you want to laugh at some ludicrous questions fill it out. Basically it starts out with you filling out basic info about yourself but then you get into "Stage 2". Now "Stage 2" is a bunch of questions that you are to answer as best you can. There is probably about 50 or so questions that basically are asking you if you are:
a) a thief
b) a wannabe thief
c) disgruntled at society
d) a goody two shoes
e) someone likes to watch others steal
f) a brawler
g) all of the above
An example of the application: "Customers are just out to get you" with your possible answers of Definitely Yes/Probably Yes/ Probably No/ Definitely No
Now I'm think to myself on this one "Is this a statement or a question"
Another question "Have you always told the truth?" Possible answers: Yes/No. Now this is a trap of a question cuz unless you're Mother Teresa or Jesus Christ himself then you can't possibly answer yes. If you answer Yes then you are lying and therefore haven't answered the truth and therefore classified a liar and won't be hired. Then if you answer no, then you are telling the truth but you are a liar that doesn't deserve to be hired but are probably thanked for the honesty. These are some of the more basic questions. I can't remember anymore at the moment but Lauren and I were friggen dying reading them. Speaking of dying, I totally could've caused a horrible car accident, which brings us to segment 3
THE CAR ACCIDENT THAT I CAUSED BUT WASN'T INVOLVED IN
Okay, so it wasn't an awesome tire squealing, cars flipping, gas tanks exploding accident. Actually it was just enough of an accident to have be qualified as one. Here's the story, I hope you enjoy. As a motorist, there are many a times when you do the good samaritan act of letting another motorist pull out of a parking lot by stopping early at an intersection. Well that was one of those days and one of those acts. I had stopped early to let an older gentleman pull out. Now this fellow was wanting to head in the opposite direction that I was, so as he was continuing his approach he was looking to make sure he could merge into his appropriate lane. As he was doing so, I noticed yet another motorist in my rear view mirror speeding down the centre of the road to make a left turn at the intersection. Here's the problem, the old man wasn't looking in my direction anymore, therefore, he's not noticing the speeding motorist heading towards his merging zone. Now it's also quite apparent that Speedy Gonzalez doesn't notice Old Man Driver. Sure enough before I could even finish honking my horn the old man clipped the whole side of Speedy's car destroying the whole side of it and only doing minimal damage to his own. I felt kinda bad cuz if I was a total dick and just block the old man in, there wouldn't have even been an accident. So as the light turned green, i just simply drove around the traffic blemish and continued on with my day. Speaking of day, it 430 in the morning as I reach this point in my blog and I'm going to bed. I think I had more to write but my brain stopped working back at the word bizzaro, the rest was written on auto pilot or sugar from the multiple handful of jelly belly jelly beans. MMMMMMM jelly belly's...oh bleh...buttered popcorn. To be continued? Definitely Yes/Probably Yes/Probably No/Definitely No
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2 comments:
You should go into Journalism! Seriously. Or, start your own magazine. Or, your own website. Funny crap! :)
'Tis true about the Future shop questionaire - i do recommend people check it out, but NOT do the questionaire/interview in its entirety...its VERY long, with a constant stream of cornering questions, but all in all amusing.
About the jelly belly jelly beans - while they are one of my favorite candies, i still disagree with the buttered popcorn flavour...its just weird, but i suppose it is still in there for the WTF factor.
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