So You Think You Can Dance - Sault Ste. Marie Auditions

Well, Ky was going to make a post out of this, but i'm going to beat him to it, because it really needs to be posted. Thursday night a few groups of people were going to the Canadian. Kyle and I were pretty iffy because Ky had just worked 12 hours and it was a friggen snow storm outside, but we decided to go - which was one of the best decisions we've made in a long time. Upon our arrival someone neglected to tell us that there were apparently auditions for So You Think You Can Dance. Now for those of you who have ever watched the auditions portions of SYTYCD or American Idol, there are some people who are very talented and amazing.... you also know damn well that there are far too many people on this planet who think they are good at their "talent", but the truth is far from their little delusion.
Our first dancer of the evening we deemed as the "Loner" or "Lone-Dancer" (i know, we are pretty original). There she is out on the dancefloor all by herself, dancing in a not-so-hot fashion, but she almost had rhythm - note i said almost. Mind you, she was very unoriginal as there is always a lone dancer at some point in the evening.
Our next contestant was this 12 year old-looking kid. To paint you a picture, he looked reminiscent of a 5 foot 4 Macaulay Culkin (in his younger years), wearing a white button-up dress shirt, with the collar flipped up - which i think was mandatory. His dancing style? Well, if you mixed John Travolta Saturday Night Fever, Napoleon Dynamite doing his "skit" for Pedro's election speech, and Richard Simmons, you basically got this guy. His awkward movements mixed with his boyish charm seemed to attract much attention from some unfortunate ladies.
Sooner than we expected the "Loner" returned for a duet - her new partner? "Spazzy McGee". Was my particular favourite of the evening, simply because her style of dance was so intricate and complex that i (as a dancer) couldnt fathom how she could be dancing in this manner and still be standing. We came to the conclusion that she was on some drug - speed was our preference - because any normal person could not possibly make these movements AND not get tired. Basically she often looked as though her entire body was going into a dry heave mixed with a bad case of Touret's syndrome. I'm surprised she neither injured herself nor anyone else that evening. She also attempted to do "sexy" moves, such as a snake-like-swim thing, and a really sweet double-hip-rub which Amit pointed out to us.
We also came upon the white-boy brigade, which our Macaulay Culkin look-alike seemed to belonged too. The group was compiled of the whitest of white boys who are the reason white dancers have such a bad name. The "leader" was some tall drink of water who wore his really hot Chips inspired sunglasses all evening. From the White-boy Brigade the only real move they had was the Whitey-shuffle (if you do not know what the whitey shuffle is, please attend a wedding with Kyle and his dad and hopefully his brother - as they will all do some form of a whitey-shuffle through the course of the evening).
Our last contestant - "Green Jacket". Now "Green Jacket" seemed to LOVE the floor - he never sat on it, or laid down on it (which was a good thing) but he seemed to like to give it a high-five alot. His love affair with the floor seemed to have him torn as to dance standing or dance squatting, so he seemed to be caught in some sort of dance-plane limbo. Many other dance-hopefuls gathered on the dancefloor, but these few stood out among the crowd.
Some other almost memorables include: Vanilla Muffin-Top (with Bulls-eye), some guy who REALLY liked to take his shirt off, an older lady in a really bad red dress, and a K-Fed knock-off. So as it seemed the horrible weather drew out most of the worst dancer the Soo has to offer. Their shame became our fun (which i suppose is kinda mean and twisted on our behalf)...But cheers to you dancers for making Thursday one of the most amusing nights i've had in a long time... This concludes the Soo's auditions for So You Think You Can Dance. Thank you, and goodnight!